Separation Anxiety

Ever since we got back from Paris, Abby has been extremely clingy. If I walk into another room to say, brush my teeth, it's only a matter of seconds before I hear her wailing, "Mommmeeee! MoooommmEEE!" This morning, she nearly tore my leg off as I tried to get out the front door with a bag of trash. In her eyes, I may as well have been leaving her stranded on a desert island with the Boogie Monster...otherwise known as DAD.

I don't know how to handle this because she's never, ever been this way. In fact, she often says, "Go away, Mommy," if I come home during a particularly great game with Katy, her babysitter. For months, she has simply said "Bye-bye Mommy" if she sees me put on my coat. She would run up to me, wrap her arms around my legs in a giant toddler bear hug, turn around and scamper off. Her confidence that I would return and that she would have a good time without me was absolute, and it was what allowed me walk out the door feeling the exact same way.

There is a tiny part of me that basks in the extra attention, as it reminds me that I'm not easily replaced in her world. But the larger part of me feels the weight of her insecurity (sometimes literally as she hangs from my knee caps) and wants to find a way to make things right again. But with her confidence adrift, I'm feeling a bit lost myself.

Comments

[Mamma]

Dear Wendy, It will pass. She is beginning to understand of changes and what they can bring. Lots of kisses and some indifference from your part toward her new beaviour will help too. At this age they don't like changes.When she will realize that every thing is back to normal, she will feel secure again. Same routine of every day will help. Love.

[Diana]

Try hard not to give in to it though as this will only make it worse. If she asks you to stay and you were not planning on it then you have to go or next time she will beg and beg. Also, make sure you say goodbye. As tempting as it can be to sneak out while she is otherwise occupied this is worse. Think how abandoned she will feel when she realizes you left. This perpetuates the cycle, know this is normal though.

[Sara]

As a fiercely independent person, I could never understand why Maddie needed (and still needs me) so much! Her happiness often seems to be dependent on my presence and undivided attention (which is quite unnerving for someone who values her time alone). It's been a struggle to teach her how to play on her own and separate seamlessly, but it is paying off. I agree with your mom - show her that you love her and that you are confident that that she can handle it no problemo and she will! And try to turn it into something fun... when she comes screaming to find you have a giant smile and say in a June Cleaver voice, "THERE you are! How are you? I missed you!!" and tickle her tummy or give her a bear hug. Her whine will turn into a smile.